The killler knocking on my door

Dear Pandemic. You are a silent yet deadly killer. I am not mad at you because of all the deaths you have caused from your virus. But I am mad at you because of the mental health crisis you have created from it. The longer we hide in self isolation the more people are dying. Suicide rates are going up every day. You inspire fear in anyone who is weaker than you. As my anxiety and depression creeps in the less I want to go back to a normal life. You came knocking on my door exactly 18 months ago. My biggest fear in this world used to be climate change, but now it is you. You came to replace my darkest fears. You are everywhere to be found. You are on the news; you are on my social media feeds. You crawl in where you can when you can. Every time someone says your name, it seems like I am in a hole that has no bottom. The harder you knock the more I want to crawl deeper into my depression hole. You are the cause of this mental health crisis, whether you like It or not. As we slowly return to a normal life, it may look like I am smiling under my mask but, I am scared for my life. You are the cause of this metal health crisis, but through adversity you have made us stronger. You can keep knocking but I know it is you behind the door. You with balloons not filled with helium but rather of depression and anxiety. You can keep knocking but I will not answer.